I am stuck in a rut and I cant get out of it!!OMG!

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Post by shezza on 2011-06-13, 16:33

Hi everyone,

I am having one of the worst downers today, and it dosnt matter what I do I cant seem to shake it off.. I have never explained why I am looking for spells but basically my ex fiance walked out on my daughter and I three weeks before our wedding 2months ago and he's not called since moving out I guess not having any contact with him for that long is really starting to get to me because not only am I worried about how he is because he is now deployed to Afghanistan I just cant help but wonder how he can simply not call to see how our daughter is! argggg sorry everyone im flaking like cornflakes.. I think I will curl up and cry now thanks for reading.. Sad
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Post by Maggie on 2011-06-13, 18:18

Sorry you are feeling so down. I don't know why, but I do think you'll hear from him, before very long. Feels like he is confused. Hang in there.

Hugs
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Post by joanna on 2011-06-13, 23:33

do you do readings maggie?
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-14, 00:15

Maggie wrote:Sorry you are feeling so down. I don't know why, but I do think you'll hear from him, before very long. Feels like he is confused. Hang in there.

Hugs

Thank you Maggie, I was just having one of those days especially where my daughter is asking for him and I have no idea what to say because although he is usually away she always spoke to him. I hope you are right though yaya maria thinks the same and he will be back but after 2 months of no contact its hard to keep positive.
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Post by Maggie on 2011-06-14, 00:28

I do, but I would rather not. Above all I am a mother.... that is my fav. calling in life. You will do fine Shezza and pick up the slack until such time he gets with the program. Been there, done that. Stay strong.
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Post by Ana on 2011-06-15, 01:41

shezza, wherever you are, I am sending you strength to help you through.

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Post by shezza on 2011-06-15, 05:01

Thank you Ana, I am going to finish up with all this spells and stuff and thats me done he sent me an email saying he wish he never met me it was very cold and filled with hate so I think its best to let go and see it as just another wasted 6 yrs of my life Sad
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Post by Maggie on 2011-06-15, 07:47

I'm really sorry, Shezza. I thought you would hear from him, but didn't see the hatefulness coming. That's what I mean I am not nearly as good of reader as some...meaning I get some things right and miss other points at time, especially when I'm stressed.

Will keep you in my prayers. I hope you and your child will have a happy life and IF he gets on board at some pont it will be in you and your child's best interest. I hope your life gets much happier in the very near future.
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-15, 08:12

Thank you Maggie, I sent him and email first because our daughter is special needs so I needed to let him know how she was getting on with her treatments he in turn replied accusing me of putting a curse on his life and he wishes he never met me Yaya confirmed that someone have done a spell or curse on him but that wasnt me and she said it was possibly to keep us apart but he fails to see that I wouldnt be sending a curse to destroy someone I care so deeply about and the father of my child! I dont have evil qualities that some people have because I would do all I can to protect the people I love Sad

I give up!
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Post by Maggie on 2011-06-15, 08:17

I too have a special needs child, so I understand. I still think he's confused, but for right now I and others will hold you in our thoughts and prayers. I'm sorry to hear about the curse from an unknoiwn source. I had that done to me and it was most unfair. Things will
get better, one way or the other.

Hugs to you.
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-15, 08:32

Thank you Maggie, I know it will get better I just need to put myself and my daughter first now she leans on me for strength although I wont allow him anywhere around her because she dosnt need to be filled with hate.. the curse is from someone he calls mum but she isnt biologically his mum and sort of see him more than a son, so on top of all that she manipulates him with junk however I believe in Karma so I will leave it to time. I am 26 so I guess I can start over eventually.. sigh
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Post by Maggie on 2011-06-15, 08:40

Yes, you're still young and you can do it. Sometimes I wish I was that age again. My baby will be 20 next month. Yikes, I feel old, in stating that. I believe in karma too, just wish it would speed up! That mum doesn't sound very nice.
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-15, 08:45

You are only as old as you feel lol my mum keeps saying the same she is 44 this year and still cant bring herself to tell people I will be 27 this year lol as for his fake mum she is a pretend mother who took him in 7 yrs ago and loves him like she shud her husband ugh
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Post by Maggie on 2011-06-15, 09:13

Strange.. she is probably jealous of you. That is mostly true with age. When I am sleep deprived I notice I am not a kid anymore, but I am a kid at heart in so many things (except for parenting & sometimes even then) that it keeps me young.

Hope you all have a nice day!
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Post by geri_ong on 2011-06-15, 12:57

shezza: mine may not be as hurtful, but the things that my better half (ex) told me was enough to tear me up too, at that point in time, heh. so i relate. i believe things will come around for us, one day, when the time is right. i can only guess that "s**t" happens for a reason. may the Being in this world keep us as One while we hold our desires with courage and pure love.
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-15, 16:06

Hi Geri, it is absolutley devestating when these things happen it can only get better.. maybe if I say this enough times it wont seem so far fetched lol
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Post by spsp1 on 2011-06-16, 14:06

Hi Shezza,

Sending you a big heartfelt hug. Please be strong and I know you may not realise right now but with time it does get easier.

What helped me was sitting quietly at my dining table with a candle lit, I wrote a letter to the universe pouring out all my feelings, thoughts etc getting all the hurt out and then took it outside into the garden and burnt it sent all the energy to the universe and it helped the healing process.

Try and put the father of your child into a box I know difficult as you are hurting right now, perhaps he needs time on his own to gather his thoughts as he may be finding it a struggle and hard to cope with a child especially a child with special needs, not all men can cope with that or the responsibility. Do not take his angry words too personal as sometime those closest to you can take their frustrations out on you.

Be around good friends and family that make you feel good, listen to happy upbeat music, do something that makes you happy be it a walk in the park, feeding the ducks, workout in the gym or getting your hair done at the salon, spa treatments and wear something that makes you look wow, sexy and fabulous.

Take a look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are amazing, a wonderful person and deserve the great things in life and believe it.

We are all here for you to offer our support, please do not be sad.

Big hug, SPSP1 x

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Post by joanna on 2011-06-16, 14:08

SPSP, you are such a gift.
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Post by geri_ong on 2011-06-17, 02:57

i'm going through one of the downers today, heh. but i've done something which has helped me tremendously, perhaps it might help others if i share this:

1) stay in the present moment. be truly present in a sense that if you're keying away on your keyboard, feel the keys, feel your arms resting on the table etc.
2) step out of your mind (but still remain present) and observe your emotions. note the energy behind the emotion.
3) don't fight or try to ignore the feeling. you must feel it. but at the same time, know that it is your ego's feelings and not truly you.
4) accept the feeling as it is.

somehow, i found that after doing the above, the feeling just dissipates, even for physical pains. i hope it will help some of us, if not all.
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-17, 05:28

Thank you for the very helpful tips spsp1 and Geri, I am trying everything at the moment ive asked my spirit guides to help me through this.. I have decided I will start the healing I need and find my own self worth in my spirituality I realised I am so much better than rolling over and play dead I have done nothing wrong and its his loss of a beautiful family! when the cloud of confusion is gone and the band is removed from his eyes he will then see what he lost and wish he could turn the clock back! unfortunatly I wont be there waiting like I usually am ive already given 6yrs of my life and despite the ups and downs I was always there for him and put him first! now its my tern to love myself and my daughter and put us first the love I have for him will never let me wish him anything but happiness and I hope he finds it, I realised that I gave more than I got back which is why I am in this state now because I fought to save our family alone and in the end I got less than what I deserved... Its not easy leaving the life you dreamt of behind and I will have many more down days but I believe in destiny and im sure there is something great waiting for me yaya maria is helping me with a few spiritual healing to help me build my strength so lets see how that goes ..I can now declare I am free!! I will continue to pray for everyone that we all find closure and happiness in whatever there is to come for us in the future lets not waste any more time DESTINY AWAITS!!! XXX
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-17, 23:29

As some of you know I had a huge issue with my ex fiance saying I cursed him and ruined his life he sent me hate mail on Wednesday. I am so shocked right now because he's sent me an email taking it all back and asking if I can help him get his life back on track scratch maybe I should be a bit happier because he now talking to me he hasnt done for 2 months!! he's talking to me like a human being too which is a plus! but im so confused as to how he thinks I can help him get his life back on track I shouldnt be shocked because Yaya Maria said he would see he is wrong ahhh what do I do!!!???
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-17, 23:38

in terms of how do I play this out safe without rocking the boat he seems highly confused any suggestions Neutral
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Post by tina71 on 2011-06-18, 01:17

I am so happy for you, take it slow and do not let him know about your anxiety and anguish, he is looking for help not for the same old problems that made him go away.
I may not be the most qualified person to give you this advice, I have made way too many mistakes when it came to reestablishing communications, and still make the same ones over and over, but at least I am telling you what I wish I had done.
Good luck to you
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-18, 01:58

Thank you Tina, I havnt replied to his email yet im pondering what to say I dont want to send him running the other direction. I am not seeking an apology and its not like he wants to get back in a relationship so im not jumping the gun, im still thinking...... scratch
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Post by spsp1 on 2011-06-18, 09:29

Hi Shezza,

Just take a step back and make sure you make the right decision for both yourself and your daughter. Perhaps you are not the right person to help him get his life back on track as you are too close to him and the one that ends up getting hurt.

Perhaps he needs professional help? The experts that can determine his behaviour patterns, is he depressed, mood swings and the cause of them?

Its your call but I would let him wait a while before you respond to his email. Just be careful not to keep repeating this same cycle where he disappears then suddenly plays the "help me get my life sorted out" card and you being the kindred soul try and help him, but who is there for you and your daughter? When you are feeling down and hurting who is there to hold your hand through stormy waters and tells you its going to be alright?

Whatever you decide we are all here to support you.

Big hug, SPSP1

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Post by joanna on 2011-06-18, 10:21

I am not here to give relationship or communication advice because I am not great about it lol.

Good advice about taking your time. I learned the hard way and I hope I don't forget ever forget it in the future. One thing I know is that I want to be with someone that cares about me through good times and bad even when I go through anxious periods. I don't want to worry about what to say or that I might say the wrong thing to 'chase' somebody away. Life is full of ups and downs and emotions get involved or we get stressed and I want someone who will be there for me through it all and vice versa. There are lots of great men out there, it is just finding one that clicks with the right one.

Good luck and whatever you decide to do, in time you will find the right way. Just don't lose yourself along the way.
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Post by geri_ong on 2011-06-18, 10:39

my humble take would be this: leave out all expectations of any outcome and decide what you want for yourself. Smile whatever inspires you deep inside, just follow that path. and it will be the right action for you.
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Post by darkestangel08 on 2011-06-18, 12:05

i agree leave all expectations out of the equation, your answer will come to you when you least expect it good luck

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Post by Maggie on 2011-06-18, 15:30

I hope it works out well for you, Shezza. I did think he would wake up.
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-18, 16:35

Thank you everyone, I have no reservations at all I dont mind trying to help its my nature he isnt a bad guy but I guess confusion get the better of us sometimes especially as he's in Afghanistan. I dont know if its the spell work I am doing but for now I will just wait and see... we were best friends for 6 yrs before dating so its not uncommon of him to ask for help but I wont rush the process im just taking a step back and letting him have his moment of self reflection
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Post by tina71 on 2011-06-19, 21:53

@shezza , are you using any specif spellcaster?, if you don't mind sharing, of course.
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-20, 04:22

Hi Tina,

Im using grandperistyle.com there is a thread here on them so you can have a look Roland told me he was trying to open the communications between us a few days before but I cant say for sure that this is the reason or is it because I emailed my ex first so I have no idea... I will let you know if it appears to be results or just a coincidence
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Post by needforhelp on 2011-06-20, 16:01

Hi Shezza,I hope You are feeling better than You did when You started this thread... When I read Your entrance, my heart filled with sorrow and pain for you and I and well, all the members of this forum know what it feels to lose someone you thought you are going to spend the rest of your life together.... The love of my life left me last year august, two weeks after he had introduced me to his mom (we had been together for 1,5 years and I was the first girlfriend he introduced me to his sick mom), one week after he told me the beach' s name where we were supposed to get married one day. And then, week later, out of a blue he just walked away... Everybody told me to get myself busy, do stuff, be strong, find activites, travel, do sports, etc. I have always been very outgoing and happy person and I tried to be the same and inside I was dying slowly. And I knew there was absolutely nothing I could do.. Then I looked for spells, readings and by this spring I was broke thanks to spells and readings and still hurting, but less and less... So the best healer is time. We just need to give time time. I might not be helping you with my words, but thats the best I know. Time heals, sounds like a clichee, I know but take your time, pamper yourself, eat chocolate, cry until you cannot see through your swollen eyes (and then put raw potato slices on them, that helps ;-)), lie in bed until afternoon if possible, take a walk on the beach and know that you won't run from the pain and your thoughts. They will be with you for a while, just try to be strong... It will pass and only God knows when...I am still sometimes thinking of my ex, I dont cry for quite some time already and I have made myself clear what I want from my life, so I am not confused anymore. but it has taken almost a year...

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Post by junebug on 2011-06-20, 18:41

Hi Shezza,

You are doing all that's possible to make yourself feel better. I know it can be hard to focus sometime because of the voices in your head, however, if you take some time to do some meditation, especially before you go to bed and when you awake, this will help you much.

I do 10 mins of meditation before and after I wake. This helps me centralize my energies for the day.

I would emphasize that it is important for us to self-talk to ourselves. It's so interesting that many of us do not know how to talk to ourselves.

There is a technique called "fly on the wall". Imagine you had a friend who was going through a terrible time, what would you say to them? Now, you step out of yourself and be that friend. What would you say to yourself. This technique gives you a clearer objective point of view.

Don't feel too bad if you go over the 10 min mark. As I've set mine to 20-30 minutes at times. :-) As for your man, he's in Afghanistan, most likely he is bored to no end and he has plenty of time to think about his life with you and child.

Trust me, I was formerly deployed, I know all too well how that life is like.

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Post by shezza on 2011-06-20, 19:13

Hi needforhelp and junebug thank you for the advice im doing ok ive just left him to carry on with his up and down emotions I have sort of stepped away from the situation with him and im leaving him to do and say what he wants. Its annoyed me that he's emailed everyday since last Wednesday after 2months of no contact and yet havnt asked about our daughter I tried telling him about her in my replies but he ignores it and start talking about himself, that just makes me want to tell him to f#'K off! however I will let him continue to be a prick because whatever he says now he will live to regret it!! im being humble and frankly I just cant be bothered right now my mind needs a break from thinking so much.. The more he continues the more obvious it becomes that maybe my spirit guides dont think he's right for me... as frustrating as it is im sad to say the story continues Rolling Eyes sigh...
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Post by spsp1 on 2011-06-21, 13:53

Hi Shezza,

My heart goes out to you. You are absolutely doing the right thing, take time out for yourself and your daughter you both come first. Leave him to it when you are not available that is when he will realise what he had. You may realise you do not want him or perhaps he is not right for you.

I spent alot of money on readings and spells and remained single for one year wanted my ex back. But on reflection now looking back the reason the spells did not work he was not right for me.

In the meantime without planning or thinking I met a wonderful man who was a friend and I was not interested only wanted to be friends but he has won me around with his kindness, thoughtfulness and here we are now planning our future, marriage and starting a family but its him that is pushing things and I am wanting him to slow down.

So I feel that sometimes the universe guides us and if a situation is not right for us will not grant us that wish but something better.

Big hug, SPSP1

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Post by joanna on 2011-06-21, 20:49

My ex wants to reconcile and is groveling. The truth of the matter is that I don't want someone who is only concerned about himself, his feelings, his convenience and his comfort. Times do get rough in life but the trick of it is to ride the rough times together. I have no faith that he will stick around if something else happens. I want someone who is by my side and tough enough or man enough to stick by me, not someone who is going to run away at the first signs of trouble or show up in my life when he feels like it. It's nice to have someone grovel but he had no time for me when I needed him most and now I don't care to think about him. I deserve so much better. We all do.

Good for you Shezza to think of your daughter first.

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Post by tina71 on 2011-06-21, 22:49

@ joanna, did you use any spellcaster or spells?
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Post by joanna on 2011-06-22, 02:23

no. i asked yaya for help in other areas or all areas and she couldn't help me. i realize this is a spell and psychic forum but what i have found helpful are the spirited vessels and spelled items. maybe it is that which opened my eyes to realize that a person who runs away at the slightest sign of trouble is not the person for me. maybe it is that i forgot about him and led my own life that made him come back. i don't know. i am still healing and staying strong in staying away from him (hoping, praying for strength). it is hard but i know i don't want someone who cares nothing for me. the person that really cares for you accepts you for who you are and hold your hand at the darkest of times.

shezza, what i have found helped me in healing is similar to what spsp suggested in writing it out and burning or giving it up to the universe. i remember years ago we did that in church too. it's like a ritual that cleanses and heals you and you give up your pain to God...except this case my ritual is i write his name on paper and burn it over the toilet then flush it down the toilet.

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Post by joanna on 2011-06-22, 02:49

not to discourage anybody - when i was looking around for help, personal was not really a big issue as my world fell apart and there were other things that were more of a pressing nature. personal would pop up in readings but i didn't seek help for that in mind.

shezza, you are still very young. you are just beginning life and i am sure your daughter is beautiful. i have special needs in my family and I see such joy around them. they are not tainted from bad experiences and i am blessed to be close to that. prayers to you. building from scratch with love is better than building from hate.
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Post by geri_ong on 2011-06-22, 11:48

well, regardless, it's good that things are starting to pick up in the right direction for you, jo. i'm happy for you, truly. Smile
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Post by joanna on 2011-06-23, 20:31

this is a quote from needforhelp from lili's thread that i read when i have doubts and need to find faith. thanks needforhelp, i hope you don't mind i use it here. i don't know why i am posting it here. it makes me feel better. maybe it will make others feel better when they read this.

...That reminds me a wonderful quote from Greys Anatomy:" Just when we think we figured things out, the universe throws us a
curveball. So, we have to improvise. We find happiness in unexpected
places. We find ourselves back to the things that matter the most. The
universe is funny that way. Sometimes it just has a way of making sure
we wind up exactly where we belong."
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-25, 15:58

Thank you guys, im doing ok and so is my daughter, my ex finace is now constantly saying he's sorry and emails me every day! What a difference a week makes!! he says he loves me and just dont know why he did what he did etc im not jumping to restart a relationship im just taking the laid back approach and letting him do the chasing although I must admit its so nice hearing from him.. I will keep you all posted
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-25, 16:01

Ohh I must also add that he is now very much the proud father who wants to book a holiday when he is on his 2 weeks break in the summer so that too has changed..
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Post by Maggie on 2011-06-25, 16:11

I'm happy for you!
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-25, 16:14

Thank you maggie I must admit im still confused if this is the spell working or not scratch
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Post by Maggie on 2011-06-25, 16:27

Yeah, I understand. The main thing is you are getting what you want and deserve!
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Post by Maggie on 2011-06-25, 16:28

In case that came out wrong, I meant he needs to be a part of your child's life too.
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Post by shezza on 2011-06-26, 06:42

Thank you maggie so far so good..we've arranged for him to come meet us on our break away for a few days in August
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Post by Maggie on 2011-06-26, 12:54

Sounds like things are really looking up for you, that's great! Either way you choose at least you know you are strong enough for you and your child.
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